The Power of Presence in Grief | Ericaism
I don’t know if churches still have Bereavement Ministries like they used to, where they take care of those who have lost loved ones. But yesterday, I had the opportunity to be part of something similar, visiting the family of one of Warren’s childhood best friends, David Cowan Jr., who recently passed away.
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Being there with his family, loving on them, and offering support reminded me of the importance of presence in times of grief. If you grew up in the church, you know that when someone passes, we show up with food, laughter, tears, and encouragement. It’s a time of reflection, remembering the life of the one who has passed, and standing with their loved ones.
David was a part of a group called The Souls of Zion with Warren and his sister, Joy, when they were younger. They did a lot—opened for Yolanda Adams and The Winans, and shared their gift of music across Los Angeles. Being with his family, reminiscing about his impact, and simply sitting with them was a reminder that grief isn’t just about mourning—it’s about community.
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Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” That comfort doesn’t just come from the Lord but also through people. Sometimes we think a text or phone call is enough—and while it’s appreciated, there’s nothing like physically being there. When my father passed, people just came. Some had words, some didn’t, but their presence meant everything.
Everyone grieves differently. Some cry openly, some stay strong, and others process their loss in silence. It’s not our job to judge how someone mourns but to be there, however they need us. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” But guess who He uses to do that? Us. When we call, when we visit, when we hold someone’s hand through their grief, we are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus.
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And of course, in true tradition, we brought food—because Black funerals come with a menu: spaghetti, chicken, green beans, rolls, and cake. That’s just what we do. But beyond the food, it’s about the love, the support, and simply showing up.
So today, I celebrate David Cowan Jr. and his family. If you know someone who’s grieving, don’t just send well wishes—be there. Because in those moments, your presence matters more than you know.
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