Stop Treating Your Partner Like the Enemy | Love Talk
- Relationships are often portrayed as a competition, but healthy ones require teamwork and selfless love.
- Focusing on being 'right' in disagreements hurts the relationship, while focusing on making things right helps heal it.
- Unresolved small issues can create distance over time, so protect the joy in your relationships.
I’ve noticed something about the way we talk about relationships these days. Whether it’s on television, social media or even in conversations with friends, it often sounds like couples are competing against each other instead of working together. One person is trying to win, the other is trying not to lose, and somehow everybody is keeping score.
Want news at your fingertips? Text “ERICA” to 52140 to join our club. (Terms and conditions)
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OUR APP AND TAKE US WITH YOU ANYWHERE!
I don’t believe that’s how healthy relationships are supposed to work.
When you start seeing your spouse or the person you’re dating as the opposition, you’ve already created a problem. You’re no longer building together. Instead, you’re trying to outsmart, out-argue or outlast each other. That’s not a partnership. That’s a competition.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned came during a difficult season in my own life. Someone asked me a question that completely changed my perspective: “Do you want to be right, or do you want things to be right?”
At first, those two ideas may sound the same, but they’re actually very different.
When your only goal is to prove you’re right, you’ll spend your time pointing out flaws, finding loopholes and collecting evidence to support your side. Even if you win the argument, the relationship loses.
But when your goal is to make things right, you begin thinking about the other person’s feelings, their perspective and what it takes for both of you to move forward together. That’s where healing happens.
READ MORE STORIES ON GETUPERICA.COM:
- Men’s Master Summit
- CeCe Winans’ Generations LIVE Celebrates Milestone Fifth Year
- Aaron Cole Transforms Viral Anthem
I’ve also found myself looking at John 13:34 in a new way. Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you.”
I’ve read that scripture many times, but lately I’ve been thinking about what it means inside a relationship. When Jesus becomes the example for how we love, everything changes. His love was selfless. It was patient. It was sacrificial. He wasn’t focused on winning. He was focused on loving.
Imagine how different our relationships would look if we approached disagreements with that same mindset.
Even when you don’t see eye to eye, you can still remember that you’re on the same team. Sometimes you’ll have to agree to disagree, but that doesn’t mean you stop loving each other or treating each other with kindness and respect.
I also pray that if you’ve started seeing your partner as your opponent, God will help shift your heart and your thinking. You don’t have to figure it out alone. His Word gives us practical guidance on what love should look like.
Related Article: Marriage Prayer Plan | Love Talk
Related Article: Relearing Love | Love Talk
One thing I’ve learned is that relationships usually aren’t destroyed by one huge moment. More often, it’s the little things that pile up over time. Scripture reminds us that it’s the “little foxes” that spoil the vine. Small frustrations, unspoken hurts and unresolved irritation can slowly create distance if we ignore them.
That’s why I want to protect the joy in my relationships. Once happiness is there, I don’t want to lose it over little disagreements or unnecessary battles.
At the end of the day, love isn’t about keeping score. It’s about choosing each other over and over again. So the next time you’re tempted to argue just to prove a point, remember this: you’re not on opposing teams.
You’re teammates. Act like it.
HEAD BACK TO GETUPERICA.COM
