Emotional Dumping | Ericaism

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Listen, we all know that parents are not perfect, but we’ve all seen the parent that emotionally dumps on their children. What do I mean by emotionally dumping your kid is getting in trouble for not picking up their clothes off the floor and somehow it ends up in a tank of everything that you went through in your life and how you had to walk 5 miles to school and you ate beans every day for breakfast, what does that have to do with the child not picking up their socks off the floor?  

A lot of times we are trauma dumping on our children because we are so weighted down or your day is bad or you got bad news or got an e-mail. You got a lot of bills or your relationship is bad. And so when you come home the kids are in trouble and they are on edge because of something that had nothing to do with them or it is the opposite where the kids seem to be or are have to take on the impossible task of being responsible for your joy because you won’t do the emotional healing and the necessary work from going to therapy and having other conversations to healing that area.  

So kids have to be full on clowns and performances when you come home to make you happy because you’re not dealing with your emotions, your kids should not carry that pressure because what it feels like is putting little boulders, little rocks in their little baby backpacks that they have to carry the weight of knowing Mommy or Daddy is coming home or auntie is coming home and they’re mad at this and this is going on and you know they bills ain’t paid and you know they going through a divorce. So everybody has to walk on egg shells. That is not fair to emotionally dump that way on your family. 

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And to deal with what you need to deal with and then let the joy of the child just be the joy of the child who they on my nerves. I can’t wait to get home these kids up. Not my baby. At least my baby loves me. At least my child loves me. Yes, they do. But now you’re putting the weight of the world of what’s not coming from that area to now all come from this one area. And So what if the kids wants to play with their friends? Now they have to be guilty. Oh, now you want to leave me too. 

What can we please stop emotionally dumping on our children? Can we please? Some people have some crazy situations and I’m not blaming you because life don’t play fair. But when your kids have to come home and be that emotionally aware of what’s going on in your moods and your this and your that. Man, that is a heavy burden to bear. They going to be in therapy later in life and listen, we understand. Like I said, parents are perfect. But do your best not to emotionally dump on your children if you’re going through a relationship issue, don’t. I could do it if your Mama wouldn’t. Uh, don’t do it. Dad, don’t do. Sir. Well, you know, they never listen to me. And I told y’all should have moved somewhere else. They know they gotta do what they got to live. Don’t make them feel bad for it. 

When they come to your house, let’s not emotionally dump on our children. Let’s make sure we go to therapy, make sure that we are emotionally and spiritually healthy, so we’re just loving our children and not dumping on them or expecting them to rescue us from our lives. I’ve heard way too many people say, you know, just so lonely. I just want to have a child, huh. It’s not an emotional service animal. What are you doing? That’s not why you have a child to make you feel better. Because now, what about what they need? If you only get them to serve you.  

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That’s not what love is. Y’all I love you. And I mean it. That is my EricaISM for the day. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound mean and fussy, but I just listen. I’ve seen it too much and it’s not good. We need to raise our children to be healthy emotionally, to know how to express themselves, to not carry unnecessarily unnecessary baggage from someone else because of their trauma, cause when they get in relationships, that’s what they’re used to carrying someone else’s baggage. And so they think that’s normal, but it’s not. 

I love y’all. And I mean it. That is my air Ericaism for the day